I hate to be asked …

What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

“When will you have a grandchild?”

That is one question Filipino acquaintance and friends often ask me—a question Australian friends don’t usually pose. It is in our culture to ask these questions. While it may seem harmless, it can actually be hurtful at times. (Especially if you really want to have one) But it’s really not up to me to decide if a grandchild will come along.

A few weeks ago, my son, Tim, casually told me while we were having a video call, that they have no plans for children, shattering my dream of becoming a grandparent. You may ask what I am feeling right now? I am sad but still hopeful that my second child, Pat, will decide otherwise. But just the same it is really not up to me to decide.

So the next time I am asked that question…do I just say “Shut up” haha

14 Comments Add yours

  1. So great that you respect your grown kids’ decisions. Your feelings are very understandable- still hard to wait.

    1. Teresa says:

      Yes, it’s their own life… hubby and I just have to suffer in silence 🤷🏻‍♀️

  2. margaret21 says:

    As Rebecca says, well done for respecting your son’s and d-i-l’s decision when it so disappoints you. It’s a choice more and more young people are making, and with the world the way it is, an unsurprising one. Maybe Pat will bite the bullet though.

    1. Teresa says:

      It’s a different situation now with our kids. So much crimes and global warming and everything else so it is not really a good place to bring up children. That’s the logical side of me talking but my maternal side thinks otherwise haha thanks for your input on the topic, Margaret. ❤️

      1. margaret21 says:

        When my second daughter tod me she was pregnant again, I was horrified to find myself unable to be as unconditionally joyful as I would have expected. I thought of the world heading for climate meltdown, war and famine, and mourned the world this child will probably grow up in.

        1. Teresa says:

          And it shouldn’t be that way. Where is the world heading? I guess we just have to try and stay positive. Have a good day Margaret. ❤️

          1. margaret21 says:

            You too Teresa.

  3. restlessjo says:

    It’s such a thoughtless question, as not all couples are able to have children. I know some who have gone to great lengths to do so, and not been successful. You have to treasure what you have.

    1. Teresa says:

      I wrote a long response to this but it didn’t send. Anyway, i know it is a thoughtless question but back home that is what people are used to saying and it was just normal. Even here I still hear such comments and what do you say? 🤷🏻‍♀️

      1. restlessjo says:

        Annoying when that happens, Teresa- sorry! I always say I’m not desperate to be a grandma- I just want them to be happy. (I don’t have grandchildren either. My daughter never wanted children. My son’s wife had a little boy when they met. He’s 11 now and a real sweetheart. I treat him as my grandson, but he has a lot of grandparents)

        1. Teresa says:

          Oh that is nice l. i have a lot of grandkids from my nieces too. I’ve got 6. So maybe that is ok. I guess that is what is happening nowadays because our kids are using their minds.

          1. restlessjo says:


  4. Walking Away says:

    I get it, completely. But what amazing kids you have who don’t rush at things because society expects it. You’ve raised free thinking grounded people!

    1. Teresa says:

      Thanks so much for the compliment. That’s one thing I am proud of

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